Ampersand Answers: Spine

Consensus works best when it has a spine.

Rick Levine, Libra Horoscope 

The Question: 

How can I learn to be more definite? 

&mpersand Answers: 

It’s simple. Stop waiting … for permission, for approval, for anything. Instead, take a stand. 

It’s a technique I use in counseling all the time. Someone comes in unhappy in their relationship, say, and complaining fit to be tied. Okay, I say, do you want a divorce? 

I go to the furthest possibility. What that does is create instant clarity in the person. Usually, I get back, No, oh no, not at all! And then we can get down to the real work. 

When you take a stand, no matter what it is, you don’t have to stay there. You can absolutely be flexible, but if you’ll take a stand, you’ll fulfill that function of spine in the face of your consensus. 

Act definite in order to attain clarity. It’s a valuable technique, and it works every time. 

&