Ampersand Answers: Listening

Lead by listening—to be a good leader

you have to be a great listener.

Richard Branson 

The Question: 

How can I learn to be a better listener? 

&mpersand Answers: 

You’re going to think I’m kidding, but I’m not. Here’s how: become more aware of your tongue. For real. 

Where is your tongue right now? No, I know it’s in your mouth. Where in your mouth? 

Because I’m willing to make my top bet, a quarter, that it’s not parked behind your bottom teeth, relaxed and at ease, which is where it belongs. Most of us go through life with our tongues poised against our top teeth, and ready to talk. 

Listening does not require your tongue, Belovèd, but where you’re keeping it will tell you a lot about your listening skills. Stop waiting to talk, is the first instruction. 

Then, take a page from my translation of the Tao Te Ching, Tao for Now, and remember the ratio: Two ears, one mouth; the ratio matters. 

It’s actually an equation: speak half the time you listen or listen double the time you speak. 

That’s how you become a better listener. By practicing. 

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