Ampersand Answers: Permission & Agency

Permission waits for approval. Agency chooses it.
Permission asks, “Am I good enough?”
Agency says, “I know I am.”

Jennifer Arthurton of oldchicksknowshit.com 

The Question: 

How can I know if I’m waiting for permission or exercising  agency in my life? 

&mpersand Answers: 

The permission position always sounds in my mind’s ear like … um … er … well, you see …. It seems to hold within it hesitancy, and within that hesitancy holds a tiny seed of apology, apology for even daring to ask. 

If there’s hesitancy, you’re in permission mode. 

Now, you might actually need permission. Don’t confuse that with this internal state of hesitancy. If you’re quoting Dr. Seuss in your book, you need permission! But in that case you’d simply write to Dr. Seuss and ask his estate for it. 

Agency is your capacity for action. In theological terms, it’s the use of your Free Will. With agency, there is no hesitancy, there’s a choice, and then action. The larger truth is that agency doesn’t usually give a damn about permission (barring legal constraints, as above.)  

Agency can look like entitlement from the outside, but as an interior experience, we call agency confidence. When you’re confident, you’re using agency. 

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