Ampersand Answers: Building Stamina

As neuroscientist Lisa Feldman Barrett told me,
“Vigilance is metabolically expensive.”
It cripples our stamina.

from a New York Times article "Please Pass The Awe"
2.11.26 

The Question: 

How can I build my stamina? 

&mpersand Answers:  

Too many of us live our everyday lives as too vigilant. 

The etymology of vigilant is from the 15th century, and means keeping awake. 

Not that wakefulness in the sense of awareness is bad. It’s not. It’s when that wakefulness becomes a fulltime pursuit that we get into trouble. 

The neuroscientist is right. Vigilance is expensive; it costs us our stamina. 

So the first thing to face is: Do you really need to be that vigilant? 

In some cases, the answer is a definitive Yes. Dark alleys at night come to mind. Be vigilant, Belovèd, absolutely.  

But when you get home, after getting through that dark alley, put down the vigilance. Let it go.  

Now this presumes that you’re safe at home. If you’re not, that’s another story for another day. 

The next thing to face is: Where did you learn to be that vigilant? 

Explore the situation if you can, or if you can’t do it on your own—too scary or too whatever—get some help. Often, the work I end up doing with people is simply holding a container of safety in which to do their tough emotional work. 

Once you know where your vigilance came from, ask yourself one question: 

Is it happening right now? 

Most often, it isn’t. It’s some historical experience that caused your vigilance that the vigilant part of you has parked front and center. Move it in your psyche. Shove it to the back of the bus. Put it in a time out. Pull your focus away from what caused the vigilance. 

And remember this, Dear One. The original vigilance you learned was created as a benevolence, not a curse. Thank it. Thank the part of you that’s been so on the job, give it a forever sabbatical.