Ampersand Gazette #90

Welcome to the Ampersand Gazette, a metaphysical take on some of the news of the day. If you know others like us, who want to create a world that includes and works for everyone, please feel free to share this newsletter. The sign-up is here. And now, on with the latest …  

&&&&

To Take on [Anything,] Think Like a Lion

One late afternoon long ago at the Ngorongoro Crater in Tanzania, I was with a group when we located a pride of sleeping lions. As evening approached, they yawned big-fanged yawns and slowly roused. About 10 in total, scarred veterans and prime young hunters.

It was time for them to hunt. But first they licked one another, pressed bodies and indulged in much face rubbing. They reaffirmed, “Yes, we are together, we remain as one.” Only then did they set off.

[Ultimately] the ridge was lined with a hidden picket fence of hungry lions all attentively gazing onto a plain where a herd of unsuspecting zebras grazed. Rubbing noses does not catch a zebra. But only after the lions rubbed noses and reaffirmed a shared identity were the zebras in any danger.

Those lions showed me that a sense of community is prerequisite for coordinated strategy. They did not succeed in that hunt. But they would try again. Failure, these lions had learned, is necessary for success.

Like the lions, I learned about success through failures. My earliest lessons were in seemingly lost causes. [I]n 1966, several adamant people sued the county’s mosquito commission to stop the indiscriminate spraying of DDT in our salt marshes. They shocked everyone by winning. Art Cooley reflected later, “It’s possible for a small group of people who are committed and have their facts right to really make a change in the way society does business.” Sometimes facing what seems hopeless is how we realize what is possible.

As individuals we cannot always formulate the full fix. But we can be a part of a movement to forge one. Acquiescence is futile. Keeping one’s head down is stupid. As the historian Timothy Snyder noted in his book, “On Tyranny,” appeasement is how people cede their power to would-be tyrants.

Like those waking lions, we don’t know how the coming challenges will play out. We know that there will be failures and that success is possible. But it’s important that we now reaffirm our sense of pride, our shared purpose, our dedication to our common good. As the lions showed me, community comes before strategy.

So let us rouse and rub noses and greet and remind ourselves who we are. 

Excerpted from an Essay by ecologist Carl Safina in The New York Times
“To Take on Trump, Think Like A Lion”
May 27, 2025 

I deleted the list of federal atrocities from this essay, because that wasn’t the point. The point was the lions. In fact, the point is always the lions. 

The lions, upon waking, reacquainted themselves with one another. They connected. It is this connection that our world has lost, and must reinvent.  

How? How do we do that? 

We tell ourselves and everyone else the truth about what’s happening here every day. 

And sure, sometimes we’ll fail, but sometimes we’ll succeed. 

When we fail, we’ll learn, and try again. 

The idea that keeps rocketing around my brain is from Aldous Huxley. 

There is nothing wrong with you
 that what’s right with you can’t heal. 

Note please that he made no exceptions. 

So let’s learn a little something from the lions this Pride month, shall we? 

Stay connected. 

Have pride. 

Include the whole pride. 

Love the pride 

Use the pride. 

The pride is what connects us. 

If you want to be proud to be an American, or a homeowner, or a spouse, or a paraglider, or a novelist, or anything, it takes pride in yourself, connection to the collective, and a group effort. 

Let’s get started. 

&

‘Leap Together’

Kermit the Frog Gives a Graduation Speech

https://nyti.ms/4mrK2wW

Life is not a solo act. No it’s not. It’s a big, messy, delightful ensemble piece. So as you prepare to take this big leap into real life, here’s a little advice, If you’re willing to listen to a frog. Rather than jumping over someone to get what you want, consider reaching out your hand and taking the leap side by side because life is better when we leap together. Yeah, Jim, in the early days, he had a hand in literally everything I did. I know that you will stay connected to your families, your friends and your dreams because life’s like a movie. Write your own ending. Keep believing. Keep pretending you’ve all done just what you set out to do. And you’re just getting started. Thank you, University of Maryland. Thank you for having me. And congratulations to the Class of 2025. Yay!

The Class of 2025 at the University of Maryland heard from a different kind of celebrity: Kermit the Frog. He took the podium in a Muppet-size formal cap and gown on Thursday to deliver a commencement speech to the graduating students at the university’s football stadium.

You might call the campus his birthplace: Jim Henson, the creator of “The Muppet Show,” was a student at the University of Maryland when he first built Kermit, using his mother’s coats and a ping pong ball cut in half.

News that the famously cheery frog puppet would be delivering the “Ker-mencement,” as some students called it, was met with mixed reviews on campus. The University of Maryland said it had chosen Kermit to deliver its commencement address to honor the legacy of Mr. Henson, who died in 1990.

He told students to stay connected to their loved ones and to their dreams, no matter how impossible they seem. “Life is like a movie. Write your own ending,” he said. “Keep believing, keep pretending.”

He finished by leading the audience in a singalong to “Rainbow Connection.” 

Excerpted from an article in The New York Times
Kermit the Frog Gives A Graduation Speech
May 23, 2025 

Even Kermit the Frog knows how to solve the mess we’re in right now. I don’t know about you but I’m hearing the message everywhere I look: Stay connected. 

He’s not talking about Facebook Friends either. He’s talking about what the kids these days call IRL connected. In real life connected. Even though it can feel like life is a solo act, it isn’t. Even at the smallest levels. Consider this: 

You have—let’s be wicked, shall we?—Frosted Flakes for breakfast one morning. It looks like it’s just you, the box, a bowl, and a spoon. But is it? Not really. A whole lot of somebodies did a whole lot of somethings to get that box that’s in your kitchen right now. I don’t even know the real process and I can give you a list off the top of my head. 

Somebodies and somethings involved in your bowl of Frosted Flakes: Someone(s) planted, grew, and harvested the corn. Someone made it into flakes. Someone sugar-coated them. Someone milked the cow. Someone put the milk in a container. Someone designed the box for the cereal and the carton for the milk. Someone printed those containers. Someone put them together, and lined the cereal box, and treated the milk container with wax. Someone filled them. Someone sealed them. Someone put them in a truck. Someone drove the truck. Someone received them at your local market. Someone shelved them. Someone scanned their bar codes. Someone (you, probably) shopped for them. Someone put them in your cart. Someone took them out of your cart and scanned them. Someone paid for them. Someone bagged them. Someone put them in your transport. Someone unloaded them, and put them away. And I’ve only touched on the economic someones. 

All this, for a bowl of Frosted Flakes. The next time you have a bowl of cereal for breakfast, you might remember all the connecting that happened before you had that first yummy, crispy, sugary bite. 

Now, about this leaping together business, what better creature to advise humanity about leaping than a frog? It’s better when we leap together. Almost always. That doesn’t mean don’t enjoy your solo breakfast, but it does mean to share what you are with your connections. 

But here’s the real kicker in his Ker-mencement Speech: “Write your own endings.” 

So few of us realize that it is our prerogative as living beings with Free Will to create our lives and the world the way we want them to be. It doesn’t always work out as we’d planned certainly, but it might surprise you to learn that, most of the time, it works out better than you plan. 

Just like the lions, stay connected, leap together, write your own ending, and when in doubt, there is no better theme song in the world than “Rainbow Connection” sung by Kermit the Frog. 

And isn’t that just perfect for Pride, too?

& 

Here’s a universal affirmation. It works every time, for everyone, always and forever …

You’ll be amazed at how this one shift will change your perspective.

& 

 The Tony Awards happened on Sunday, June 8th, and this Gazette was written before that, but did you know that the Tonys, as they have been called since they started in 1947, were inaugurated by The American Theatre Wing to honor one of their founders actress, director, and producer Mary Antoinette Perry? 

She was bitten by the theatre bug in her hometown, Denver, Colorado, at a young age, and made her debut there at eleven. Eventually, she moved to New York City and set out to make a difference to the world of the theatre, and did she evah! 

Tony Perry made her directing debut in 1929 at a time when women were relegated to costumières or dressers. She was a driving force behind The Wing, which sponsored the Stage Door Canteen during the Second World War, and The Tonys.  

The most fun I ever had at the Tonys was to be invited to the rehearsal the day before. The mistakes were hilarious. The talent legion. The whole thing was a labor of love. 

 Spirituality, in all its magical disguises, is going to have to be a part of our global recovery. One way to define that is a sense of one’s own proper place in the universal scheme of things. Without that self-definition, it can be hard, and sometimes impossible, to create connection with others.  

Connection, or no, maybe reconnection … is what’s going to get us out of this political mess the fastest. Part of living a spiritual life is knowing what you value. Without figuring out your own values, it’s hard to react appropriately to the world around you. 

Like Archimedes, lever or no, first, you need a place to stand, that place is always within, and it is foundational and spiritual. The place where you stand tallest, strongest, and best is with what you value. Without that, the lever is useless, and so is connection.  

Do you have spiritual questions dinging around in your mind that you want answered? Would those answers help you get clear on what you value? Agreement with me is not required, but if you’re thinking about it, whatever it is, others might be too, and it’s well worth engaging over. AMA spiritual. Please.  

 Ooh, ooh, ooh. I got a total thumbs-up from both of the real people in this fifth volume of Boots & Boas. One even generously corrected potential errors I’d made in her profession! I am so, so, so grateful.  

Did you fall in love with the cover? I sure did. One of the best things about these books from my point of view is that there are rules for the covers—they all need to be “of a piece,” if you will. Instead of having someone else design them, it’s a DIY thing for me. Every time I do one, I learn a little more about cover design. 

Tony Amato has the book and has already begun the edit. I can tell he’s having fun, too, because when he’s reading it for changes, there’s a small smile on his face. Catching it feels like a boon, a blessing, and little prize. 

 So now, I am writing *only* one book. Jaq Direct, the final book of The Subversive Lovelies, my speculative fiction series, is starting to both heat up, and resolve. I realized this past weekend that I had everything clear in my mind plot-wise up to a certain day on the book calendar. Then it was time to take stock. 

That means rereading all the research I’ve done to get this far in the story, and delicately plucking out the salient morsels that will make my point about the wicked smut-monger Anthony Comstock. This is a vital process because, although I am sometimes tempted to fact dump, it’s more about eliminating goodies, zingers, and the like than it is adding. 

This is why I always do my own research. No one else could. I recognize the kinds of things I need when I come upon them. Eventually, I realize that I have way too much, and have to slash and burn wishful thinking. Still, it makes for a better book all the way around. 

My guess is … I’ll finish it this week or next. I’ve about another five thousand words to go.

 This is why there’s always a What’s Next: there’s always another something to do when one is an indie publisher. Always. I learned recently that I’m way overpaying for mailing list services. What’s the problem? you say. Uh, switching. It’s no one, two buckle my shoe. 

I have an appointment this week with my favorite web wizard, and she’s going to help me decide, and then make the transition. As Gilda Radner’s brilliant Roseanne Roseannadanna used to say, “It’s always something—if it’s not one thing, it’s anothah.” 

So true, but these sorts of things keep my brain in tip-top shape. Even if the process is a little slower than I’d like it to be. 

P.S. I’m feeling a pull toward Mex! I think the next writing project might be Shrew This!, book eleven of The Mex Mysteries, and that’s exciting. Lord knows, I’ve missed her. Now, what other book can I write in tandem …? I’ll keep you posted. 

 & 

I’m happy to announce the cover reveal for Impending Decision. The publication date as of now is July 5, 2025. I’ll put it up for pre-order in early June.  

As always, whichever book of mine you enjoy, would you please leave a stellar review, if you loved it? Those reviews are how others find indie authors like me.  

Reviews really are the engine that powers the career of an indie author. 

& 

Tony Amato is my favorite editor for lots of reasons, but mostly because he has an uncanny ability to seek, find, see, and polish the truth of a writer’s voice.  

Prolific gay author Edmund White died this week. In a reminiscence piece by his documentarian filmmaker Aaron Hicklin in The New York Times, “Most important, he understood that our stories had to be written so they could not be undone, and that books were the last defense against erasure.”   

I don’t know whether Tony could have shared the sentiment behind those words when he started, but after over 30 years of nurturing, supporting, coaching, and editing queer writers, I’m sure he can. Also these: “Not that he craved straight society’s approval. Edmund White had no use for shame, and in both life and work, he refused to sand down the edges of queer existence to make it palatable. Acceptance was never the point. Truth was.” 

If the truth of your own queer voice as a writer is in need, may I encourage you to reach out for Tony’s spectacular book-husbanding? Seriously, this is the guy. He’s edited my books for more than 20 years, so I ought to know. Find him here. Oh, and here’s his substack Subscribe here. 

& 

Stolen Focus: Why You Can’t Pay Attention—and How to Think Deeply Again by Johann Hari 

From the blurb … NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER 
Our ability to pay attention is collapsing. From the author of Chasing the Scream, Lost Connections, and Magic Pill comes a groundbreaking examination of why this is happening—and how to get our attention back.
In the United States, teenagers can focus on one task for only sixty-five seconds at a time, and office workers average only three minutes. Like so many of us, Johann Hari was finding that constantly switching from device to device and tab to tab was a diminishing and depressing way to live. He tried all sorts of self-help solutions—even abandoning his phone for three months—but nothing seemed to work. So Hari went on an epic journey across the world to interview the leading experts on human attention—and he discovered that everything we think we know about this crisis is wrong.

We think our inability to focus is a personal failure to exert enough willpower over our devices. The truth is even more disturbing: our focus has been stolen by powerful external forces that have left us uniquely vulnerable to corporations determined to raid our attention for profit. Hari found that there are twelve deep causes of this crisis, from the decline of mind-wandering to rising pollution, all of which have robbed some of our attention.  

Crucially, Hari learned how we can reclaim our focus—as individuals, and as a society—if we are determined to fight for it. Stolen Focus will transform the debate about attention and finally show us how to get it back.” 

I have been a fan of Johann Hari for many years. His book, Chasing the Scream, about the addiction crisis underpinned almost every word I wrote in the ninth book of The Mex Mysteries, Rent Rx. Given that, I was surprised that I hadn’t heard of his book Stolen Focus.  

The book came out in January 2022, won a bucketload of prizes, and is more relevant than it was when it was published because things have only gone downhill on the attention front. The thing I liked best about this book is that he details his own journey with stolen focus, and he comes up with an idea for a worldwide movement to turn it around—Attention Rebellion. 

I think everyone who has ever used a computer, even once, is mandated to read this book. Seriously. 

& 

Are you waiting for a sign?
How about this one? 

If you’re a lion,
then you’re not alone.
You have a pride. 

Even if, for right now, you’re a lion
who feels alone,
or is alone temporarily,
you can still be proud of yourself. 

I think, sometimes, we are
so used to seeking praise outside
of us that we forget
that all pride begins within. 

I’ll say it again: 

ALL PRIDE
BEGINS WITHIN. 

So what are you proud of,
O Lion?
Make a long, long list,
and keep it to remind yourself. 

Certainly, you’re part
of my PRIDE. 

I am, without doubt, certain that And is the secret to all we desire.
Let’s commit to practicing And ever more diligently, shall we? 

Until next time,
Be Ampersand 

&&&&