Ampersand Gazette #87

Welcome to the Ampersand Gazette, a metaphysical take on some of the news of the day. If you know others like us, who want to create a world that includes and works for everyone, please feel free to share this newsletter. The sign-up is here. And now, on with the latest …  

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Be Not Afraid

Fear defines us. Not by its presence, but by how we respond to it.

There are two kinds of fear. The first is primal. It grips us when lightning strikes too close or when the crack of a bullet signals imminent danger. In those moments, our bodies freeze, and our focus narrows.

The second kind of fear is more insidious. It seeps into our daily lives, lingers in the background and dictates our choices without us realizing it. America has always known fear—war, economic pain, uncertainty.

But today’s fear is different. It has been cultivated.

We live in a world of instability—jobs vanish, institutions falter, narratives shift by the hour. Every word we say, every action we take, is scrutinized, recorded and judged. The threat of digital mobs and public shaming doesn’t protect us; it paralyzes us. It breeds hesitation, then withdrawal, then division.

Fear isolates. It pushes us into ideological bunkers, surrounding us only with those who think like us. And when fear festers, it mutates. What begins as anxiety turns into resentment. Resentment hardens into hatred. Hatred strips away our ability to see others as people. The result is a society riven by suspicion and hostility.

There is no magic cure for fear. But there is an antidote: rules.

Rules are not shackles. They are the foundation of order. The rules that matter most—the ones that govern character—are also in peril. The loss of external structure is one thing. The loss of internal discipline is another. Too many have abandoned the basic principles of integrity, decency and respect. Without these, society does not simply fray; it collapses.

Today, our leaders—whether in politics, business or culture—are no longer simply attacked; they are torn down with glee. Worse, some have become the very architects of disorder, stoking division and resentment for personal gain. They do not lead; they inflame. They do not steady the ship; they rock it for effect. And in doing so, they set a precedent that character no longer matters, that outrage is a currency and that the path to power is not through integrity but through spectacle.

When our leaders abandon character, it does more than set a poor example. It accelerates decay. It tells people that principles are optional, that decency is weakness, that rules are for fools. It fosters a culture of fear, where hesitation replaces confidence, cynicism replaces trust and self-preservation replaces the courage to stand for what is right.

The strength of our character is not defined by the absence of fear but by our ability to face it, to rise above it and to live, and lead, with integrity. It is in these moments that we show the true measure of our resolve.

Fear is not a force to be defeated by force alone, but by the steady adherence to rules that govern both our actions and our hearts. In this, we will find not just a defense against fear, but also the foundation of our strength. 

Excerpted from an Op-Ed by General Stanley McChrystal in The New York Times
“Be Not Afraid”
April 13, 2025 

I can bristle at rules just like anyone else. I react especially poorly to rules that seem capricious or ill thought-out. On the other hand (said the Libra,) rules bring me some of my greatest solace. The rule of law, anyone? 

Nothing like being human to live a dichotomy. It’s practically inherent. 

Generally speaking, rules have a bad reputation. We hear much more about the stupid ones than the ones that work. 

Here’s one: if you are driving a car in the United States of America, the rule is to drive on the right-hand side of the road.  

Now, usually, we don’t think of that as a rule per se. We think of it as ‘the way it’s done.’ I know of no one who drives here who would argue it. The rule is in place to keep all of us safe on the road. Fair enough. 

But I, like General McChrystal, am much more interested in the inner rules than the outer ones. The good outer ones result from the good inner ones. 

He cites integrity, decency, and respect. So let’s take these three, and really look into them, shall we? We’ll investigate each one from the inside out. 

Integrity, as I’m sure you know, is one of my favorite words. One of its definitions is wholeness. Like an integer, which is a whole number, whose etymology is intact. 

When you live in inner integrity, you have an interior sense that you are whole. The OED maintains it means whole and undivided. It also means you don’t feel that you are missing anything. 

For decency, I default to its second definition. It means things required for a reasonable standard of life. Its etymology comes from being fitting, appropriate. 

Now check out that word appropriate, because inside it is the root word of property. In this context, it means having what you need.  

When you live in inner decency, you have the proper things you need to live your life. It also means that you don’t feel you are lacking anything required. 

And now, respect, which comes from roots meaning to look again. Its meaning is to see with great admiration elicited by abilities, qualities, or achievements. 

When you live in inner respect, you look at yourself without filters, and you find that which in you is worthy of admiration. It also means you don’t denigrate yourself. 

When you turn these character traits of integrity, decency, and respect onto others—because you already have them in yourself—this is how we make a world that works for everyone. 

It’s a great, haunting metaphysical truth that what we withhold from ourselves, we cannot give to others, and what we withhold from others, we cannot receive for ourselves. 

If we are unwilling to offer others the options of integrity, decency, and respect, then we cannot have these for ourselves. If we do not cultivate them in ourselves, it is impossible to allow others to have them.  

This is character, also an interesting word. It comes to us via Latin from the Greek word for a stamping tool, interestingly, originally meaning a distinctive mark. 

It is this distinctive mark of individuality which fosters these traits which repairs and restores and refurbishes frayed or forgotten or forsaken social contracts.  

So, where are you with your own integrity, decency, and respect, Belovèd? If you’re missing any of these, hop to it please. We need you. 

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4 Ways to Stop Stressing About Your Schedule

For the past few weeks, I’ve been doing a simple experiment: I leave for appointments 10 to 15 minutes earlier than normal. Yes, this is “obvious” advice, said Chris Guillebeau, the author of the forthcoming book “Time Anxiety: The Illusion of Urgency and a Better Way to Live.”

People still resist this idea, Guillebeau said: “They get worried, and ask, ‘What will I do with the extra time?’” Research suggests that people habitually underestimate how long a task will take.

I’m not the only person who has a fraught relationship with the clock. Sixty percent of people surveyed by the Pew Research Center said they sometimes felt too busy to enjoy life.

Some of the stress around scheduling is out of our control, but there are things we can all do to feel more in charge of our time. I asked some experts.

Abandon the idea that you’ll ever be all caught up.

“Your to-do list will never end,” said Thomas Curran, an associate professor of psychology at the London School of Economics and Political Science and the author of “The Perfection Trap: Embracing the Power of Good Enough. Build your tolerance for leaving that list unfinished.

“We [don’t] celebrat[e] our wins,” said Amantha Imber, an organizational psychologist and the author of “Time Wise: Powerful Habits, More Time, Greater Joy.” Dr. Imber recommended completing the sentence “Today I made progress on … ” Reflecting on our past accomplishments is a “savoring intervention,” and it can improve confidence.

Ask yourself: Is this actually urgent?

Sometimes, people can cause you “time anxiety” by pulling you into something they consider urgent, creating a “false deadline.” When this happens, ask yourself: Is this actually urgent? Can it wait? Is it urgent to someone else, but not to me? 

Consider whether you can bring your B game.

Do you need to bake cookies for your book club, or will store-bought do? Can that Zoom meeting be a quick phone call instead, while you take a reviving walk? Be alert for those moments when you are needlessly giving it your all and could give, say, 75 percent instead. In some cases, “It’s OK to bring your B game.” 

Redefine ‘valuable’ time.

I’m a box checker, and must fight the impulse to squeeze “productivity” out of every moment. But I shouldn’t view downtime as unproductive, Dr. Curran said: “It isn’t wasted at all.”

Some of your happiest memories will be events that are “mundane and ordinary,” so make time for them if you can. I recalled Dr. Curran’s words when a friend asked me recently, “If you could relive one day, what would it be?”

It would be a day when my daughter was 4. I had a day off, so we went to a park where we rode on a merry-go-round, followed by a trip to get pizza and ice cream. Then we went home to play Unicorn Land. That’s where you get into bed, put the covers over your head, fling them off, and you’re transformed into a unicorn.

That’s it. It was a mundane and ordinary Tuesday. But I’ll think about that when I’m debating whether to work late or have dinner with my family: I’d do anything to go back to Unicorn Land.

Excerpted from a Well Column by Jancee Dunn in The New York Times
“4 Ways to Stop Stressing About Your Schedule”
April 11, 2025 

I’d venture to say that many of us are addicted to productivity, and that somehow, we have Gorilla-glued the notion of urgency to productivity. Where’s the fire? 

I can tell you where it’s not: in your belly.  

Box-checking, list-making, constant data collecting, rating every little thing—it would seem a lot of us are addicted to quantity, which does not equate to quality by any stretch of the imagination. 

I read once that of the workforce in America, 93% of people do jobs that measure things that the other 7% create. 

Time, however, is the great leveler. No one has more time than anyone else on any given day, although it’s true that some people have resources that allow them to feel like they have more time, but in fact, they do not. Each day has 24 hours. The End. 

I liked the recommendations these experts made, but I have a bit of a slanted take on them: 

Abandon the idea that you’ll ever be all caught up. Caught up with what?  

I do the laundry each week in our household. I like doing the laundry. It’s one of the few things I do that has a beginning, a middle, and an end. There’s a feeling of satisfaction when I replace the empty hamper in the closet. But that night, as I’m getting ready for bed, the hamper doesn’t stay empty. I use it for that day’s clothes.  

So much is cyclical in life, and that trap that many of us fall into with lists and scheduling is … just let me get through … fill in the blank … this week, the holidays, this project, vacation, whatever.  

Dear One, think on this: when your To-Do List is really done, you’re likely to be leaving the planet. 

Ask yourself: Is this actually urgent? Or, use my way, Whose emergency is this, anyway? 

Most of us have as fraught a relationship to time as we do to money. Not kidding. Do you operate from Scarcity? “I’m late, I’m late, for a very important date,” with a White Rabbit Sensibility? Or do you operate from Abundance? “We have all the time in the world,” which, if you’ll ponder it, is actually true. 

The quantum mechanics wizards tell us that time is an illusion, so too with Scarcity. Who’s scaring you? (Hint: Often you’ll find them in the loo mirror.) Urgency is an illusion, too, most of the time.  

It’s because we all have such different relationships to time that we get caught in another person’s deadline.  

Consider whether you can bring your B game. What a concept! I don’t have to give my all every single moment of every single day. Whew. Do you have a B game? Can you access it? A lot of us can’t. We only know how to do full tilt boogie. 

Ask yourself, what’s the easiest way to get whatever it is done? Easiest, meaning least stressful, simplest, most elegant. You’ll have your own definition.  

Sure, you can bake cookies, but is it needful, will it make a difference, or is your focus better spent on your new novel or your ship model? Simone Weil said, “Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.” What are you attending? Where are you giving generously? 

Redefine ‘valuable’ time. We’re back to quality versus quantity. Truth? All time is valuable. You’ll note the expression is that we ‘spend’ time. Interesting. 

In the beginning of her article, Ms. Dunn talks about people asking what they will do with the extra time. There is no such thing. You and I have the same amount of time. We also have the same gift, Free Will, which allows each one of us to make choices about that time. 

But say, you arrive somewhere early, and you have to wait. Okay. Read a book. Have a thought. Rehearse a difficult conversation. Plan the next scene in your screenplay. Work out a crossword puzzle clue. Pray. Meditate. Get still. Breath. Think, just plain think. Or sit, just plain sit. 

There is a false idol in Western culture at whose feet we worship to our detriment: The Great God Efficiency. Humbug to that, say I. Efficiency is overrated. Integrity isn’t though. Nor is decency, nor respect. How about kindness? Good humor? Truly seeing others? Empathy?  None of these is necessarily efficient, but all of them make a true difference in your inner world, and thus, in the outer world we share. 

Have a ponder on your relationship with time, Belovèd. Does it need some tweaking to make life easier, happier, simpler for you and yours? Do it. You’ll be glad you did, and I’m betting when you do, that you’ll rediscover that fire right where it belongs: in your belly. 

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Here’s a universal affirmation. It works every time, for everyone, always and forever …  

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And in publishing news …  

 Spirituality, in all its magical disguises, is going to have to be a part of our global recovery. One way to define that is a sense of one’s own proper place in the universal scheme of things. Without that self-definition, it can be hard, and sometimes impossible, to create connection with others. Like Archimedes, lever or no, first, you need a place to stand, and that place within is foundational. Without that, the lever is useless, and so is connection. My real curiosity here is: do you have spiritual questions dinging around in your mind that you want answered? Agreement with me is not required, but if you’re thinking about it, whatever it is, it’s well worth engaging over. AMA spiritual. Please.  

Oklahoma! Hex remains permafree for the moment. We’re coming to days spent lazing in nature, and for some that means reading. One of my great reading delights is a really good series, yes, with spin-offs. There are ten mysteries so far, and a book of backstories. If you want a totally fun series: a high femme intuitive investigator who solves her cases by listening to a voice only she can hear called Spirit. If you’ve ever been curious about your own intuition, Mex is a great exemplar, even if yours doesn’t work like hers. 

I am very close to the climax and final denouement of Impending Decision, Book Five of The Boots & Boas Romances. It often becomes a mad dash at the end, something I truly enjoy. I’ve probably got another week and a half, if that, to finishing the book. Such a happy thing, and because the rest of the books have slotted themselves into my brain, I’m already thinking about the next one, a novella about Mickey and Sarah called Presenting Condition. I’ve never written a novella before. 

Here’s a fun little idea from The New York Times: This headline totally surprised me. “New York City’s Hottest Hangout Is a 500-Person Board Game Night”. Who knew? It reminded me instantly of the second book in this series, Jasmine Increscent. Jasmine starts out to be a gambling entrepreneur, joining her sisters in the vice business, but investigates, and rejects it because of its addictive potential. She ends up with The Board Room … and you’ll have to read the rest to find out more.  

Jaq Direct, the final book of The Subversive Lovelies, my speculative fiction series, is now over the halfway mark and counting. Very thrilling. It’s been wild to have to separate out the energetic timelines of Jaq and Jayne from Boots & Boas. Jaq is set in 1907, ten years after the four siblings go into the vice business. He’s getting clearer about what he wants his vicety to be, and it’s taking some time to get things organized and flowing in the direction he’s dreamed. The more he works at it, the clearer he gets. Isn’t that always the way? 

The Besieged edits are still languishing in a file all alone, no matter that they’re calling to me. I am, however, continuing my research into the 1980s HIV/AIDS experience. I just read a really fun history book called Glitter and Concrete, a cultural history of drag in New York City from its beginnings to the present. Amazing. The bonds that were forged in the queer community at that time are stupendous, despite the horror story behind the reasons. Plus see below for another resource I’ve studied. 

The biggest mistake people make when attempting to raise their own energy is to look outside themselves for solutions. Nope! Exponential Energy is an Inside Job. The first four tiny courses courses will be Body, Heart, Mind, Spirit chakra teachings. Each is a dive into one aspect of learning how to have Exponential Energy—something we all need right now. Managing your own energy is something that anyone, no matter what age, can learn to do. It’s inner. It’s free (once you learn to do it.) It’s good for you. It takes very little time. If doing this work calls to you, email me to arrange an appointment. 

I have a bunch of things in all different pots simmering on a stove with a bajillion burners in my creative mind awaiting creative expression. Did you know that this is why you can’t copyright an idea? Nope. You can only copyright the expression of an idea—a very different matter. That’s why I’m so disciplined about my writing. Unless I express it, the idea is just an idea. It’s when it takes form that the magic happens. Or, maybe not. It’s the process of the idea becoming expressed is where the magic happens, and oh, I do like me some magic. 

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In traditional publishing, it used to be that editors, once they’d bought a book, would work through it with their authors, recommending where changes needed to happen before they could print and sell the book to the general public. Far fewer editors (or agents, who also ask for edits, come to that) who work in publishing do this any more, but a lot of them use freelance editors to accomplish the same work. This kind of an editor needs to be kind, but also hugely efficient, ready to slash and burn, making the book the best it can be before putting it out in the world. I happen to know an editor who’s really good at this, especially the kind part. 

Tony Amato is my favorite editor for lots of reasons, but mostly because he’s a uniquity. A very fancy word for one-of-a-kind. His bushel of  talents serves authors and their books in a way unlike any other editor I know. May I encourage you to reach out if you need book-husbanding? Seriously, this is the guy. 

Now more than ever the whole world needs your creative input. Really, if it’s about books—you name it, he’s done it. Like I said, if you need anything in your writing life, Tony Amato is the person. Find him here.  

P. S. Tony has a new substack. He’s writing about writing and he’s sharing some of his own fiction, too. Subscribe here. 

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Blood: An Epic History of Medicine and Commerce by Douglas Starr 

From the blurb … “Essence and emblem of life—feared, revered, mythologized, and used in magic and medicine from earliest times—human blood is now the center of a huge, secretive, and often dangerous worldwide commerce. It is a commerce whose impact upon humanity rivals that of any other business—millions of lives have been saved by blood and its various derivatives, and tens of thousands of lives have been lost. Douglas Starr tells how this came to be, in a sweeping history that ranges through the centuries.
    
“With the dawn of science, blood came to be seen as a component of human anatomy, capable of being isolated, studied, used. Starr describes the first documented transfusion: In the seventeenth century, one of Louis XIV's court physicians transfers the blood of a calf into a madman to ‘cure’ him. At the turn of the twentieth century a young researcher in Vienna identifies the basic blood groups, taking the first step toward successful transfusion. Then a New York doctor finds a way to stop blood from clotting, thereby making all transfusion possible.

“In the 1930s, a Russian physician, in grisly improvisation, successfully uses cadaver blood to help living patients—and realizes that blood can be stored. The first blood bank is soon operating in Chicago.
    
“During World War II, researchers, driven by battlefield needs, break down blood into usable components that are more easily stored and transported. This ‘fractionation’ process—accomplished by a Harvard team—produces a host of pharmaceuticals, setting the stage for the global marketplace to come. Plasma, precisely because it can be made into long-lasting drugs, is shipped and traded for profit; today it is a $5 billion business.     

“The author recounts the tragic spread of AIDS through the distribution of contaminated blood products, and describes why and how related scandals have erupted around the world. Finally, he looks at the latest attempts to make artificial blood.     

“Douglas Starr has written a groundbreaking book that tackles a subject of universal and urgent importance and explores the perils and promises that lie ahead.” 

This book is a cultural and scientific history of blood. The most fascinating aspect of it is the debate at the core of so many important things in life: is it sacred or profane? It’s a binary set-up but is it a binary at all? Is blood sacred, living human tissue? Or is blood profane, a commodity to be monetized and traded? The real answer is Yes. But the debate rages on to this day. 

It’s caused me to ask what other things fall under these sacred/profane categories? Sex, and I don’t mean gender, certainly. Mothering is another. I think various artforms fit this bill, too. Theatre, Music, Painting, Writing. The thing is, when anything can be considered sacred or profane (or both, said the Libra), it invariably provokes someone to demand power over it. Think on that for a bit. I still am. 

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Are you waiting for a sign?
How about this one? 

Philosopher and mystic
Simone Weil famously wrote:
“Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.” 

Where are you placing the generous gift of your attention lately?
What are you paying attention to these days? 

The expression is … Pay attention ..
and that’s no mistake.
There’s a cost to attending.
If I attend this, then I cannot go to that,
in the physical sense. 

There’s more to it, though,
When I place the generous gift of my attention
on what’s wrong,
what’s wrong shows up as regularly as sunrise. 

But you know what else is true? 

When I place the generous gift of my attention
on what’s right,
what’s right shows up as regularly as sunrise, too. 

The thing is, Belovèd, 

You. Get. To. Choose. 

I am, without doubt, certain that And is the secret to all we desire.
Let’s commit to practicing And ever more diligently, shall we? 

Until next time,
Be Ampersand.  

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