Ampersand Gazette #80

Welcome to the Ampersand Gazette, a metaphysical take on some of the news of the day. If you know others like us, who want to create a world that includes and works for everyone, please feel free to share this newsletter. The sign-up is here. And now, on with the latest … 

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Should Students’ Efforts Be Rewarded

With Good Grades?

Re “Sorry, You Don’t Get an A for Effort,” by Adam Grant (Opinion guest essay, Dec. 29, 2024):

To the Editor:

I am a cognitive scientist at the University of California, Irvine. Adam Grant is quite right that effort alone is not sufficient to produce excellence or even passable success. But what’s wrong is that the focus should not be on effort per se but on the other E word—engagement.

I teach incredibly talented students, including many first-generation college students from immigrant families and international students who aren’t always sure they belong at the university. They come with life experience that doesn’t always match the curriculum. We should be focused on how to create meaning and confidence in students who don’t always see themselves as sufficiently entitled to seek either. They fear speaking up in class or approaching an instructor.

Engagement is hard work, but it’s exactly what we need to be doing, especially at this time when academic success has been misunderstood as elitism. As a female from an era when women were not particularly welcome in the academy, I think we need to think first about how the learning environment might provide a means for inviting our students to engage and to learn to connect that engagement with their own experience. The effort and excellence will follow.

Judith Kroll
Irvine, Calif.
The writer is co-founder of Women in Cognitive Science, an organization to promote the visibility of female scientists. 

A Letter to the Editor from Judith Kroll in The New York Times
“Should Students’ Efforts Be Rewarded with Good Grades?”
January 11, 2025 

It’s not that effort doesn’t count. It does, but in the venue known as school or education, proof that the student has learned something via doing whatever is assigned is the standard criterion. 

If we trace the logic of the effort argument, then it could reasonably be said that a student who didn’t require the same amount of effort but showcased their learning, which was the goal all along, should be penalized because the material came easy to her or him. That just makes me shake my head no. 

This insidious Effort Notion has been circulating for a long, long time. I might even call it Effort Nation. 

There was a time in my life when I knew a college professor quite well, and it was not unusual after grades were announced to have students, and—shock of shocks—their parents, insist that my friend change a grade to improve a GPA. The first time I heard this, I didn’t believe it.  

That’s impossible, I said to myself. No one in their right mind demands that a college professor change a grade. Oh but they did. Repeatedly. I asked what had changed since my college days, and heard back quite bluntly, Students are now considered customers. What? 

Well, apparently, while I wasn’t looking, the business model for commerce was applied quite injudiciously to higher education. Students and their parents were to be considered customers, and those who provided education were the corporate employees who delivered the product to be consumed. As if education were an assembly line. 

I thought long and hard about this. Of course, once it was pointed out to me, I couldn’t unsee it. Believe me when I tell you that it was staring me in the face all the time. Students were customers. Wow, and ick. 

If you’ll carry the metaphor through, you’ll see that Professor Kroll is right on time with her observation. What she’s looking for is the other E word—engagement. 

Isn’t that exactly what business marketers are looking for on social media? It is. They even use that word! Which means that the people who sell those same students cool backpacks to shlep their books around campus are now selling curricula in the same way. What’s wrong with this picture? 

The word engage comes from fifteenth century Old French roots meaning to pledge, more accurately, to be under a pledge. Another word for commitment, yes, but with the added spice of action. One pledges allegiance to the flag, for example, which feels more inner to me than to engage, which feels more outer and active to me. 

What professors want to know unequivocally is that students have engaged with the material. Dr. Kroll goes further—and this is the key to the entire matter—to recommend engagement followed by a connection to the students’ own experience. How much better could education fare? 

The answer is: it can’t. It goes back to one of the major principles of metaphysics. Yes, believe, but unless you act on what you believe, it doesn’t matter. Another way to say this might be: apply what you know and what you’re learning. 

My friend taught acting. I think that’s some of the reason students and parents felt they had the right to demand grade changes. Students took her class for an easy A. Believe me, it wasn’t easy. Or, it was, if you actually read the syllabus, did what was spelled out therein to merit an A, and engaged with the material. 

The ones who did have returned again and again to thank my friend for insisting that they apply what they learned. It’s a good lesson for all of us who learn new things. Unless you apply whatever it is, it may as well just be a random pile of zeroes and ones. 

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I Quit Drinking Four Years Ago. I’m Still Confronting Drinking Culture. 

[HEADS UP: I AM NOT WRITING ABOUT DRINKING HEREINBELOW.]

A reconsideration of alcohol in our lives is in the air. As someone who stopped drinking four years ago, I know that quitting involves more than conquering your thirst; it’s also about confronting the aspects of our culture that normalize and romanticize drinking and can be suspicious and dismissive of those who quit.

Giving up drinking was one of the best decisions I ever made. I am healthier and happier. I think more clearly and sleep more soundly. I no longer lose things or forget things. I can sit quietly with my thoughts without becoming antsy. And I have saved a remarkable amount of money.

Someone once told me that I was one of the lucky ones: My drinking was habitual, not a physical addiction. Indeed, my body didn’t crave alcohol, nor did I experience withdrawal. When I stopped drinking, the test was navigating difficult emotional moments.

Switching off the impulse to drink turned out to be only one foot taking the step; fighting the culture around drinking was the other. I always understood the moral judgments about overconsumption, but I hadn’t anticipated those about nonconsumption.

Nondrinkers are routinely mocked as either nagging, joy-deprived, vibe killers or lacking the self-control to properly partake in a normal part of adult socialization. Surely, people often seem to think, something tragic must have precipitated your sobriety, a devastating diagnosis or grand embarrassment—you didn’t choose the bench, you were ejected from the game. The problem was you, not the alcohol.

It is as if some people need a trauma story to make sense of your decision to stop drinking; otherwise, your sudden abstinence casts a pall over their continued consumption, and they read your personal choice as a critique of theirs.

I don’t think everyone realizes what an othering experience it is to be treated like a freak because you have made a healthy choice. I view my role in my friend group not as a scold but to model a dynamic sobriety. I’m trying to relieve the killjoy stigma so that people know that they can become sober and remain social. I’m trying to change the culture.

Excerpted from an Opinion Essay by Charles M. Blow in The New York Times
“I Quit Drinking Four Years Ago. I’m Still Confronting Drinking Culture.”
January 9, 2025 

I’m trying to change the culture. Oy. What if Mr. Blow’s entire essay is about changing the culture? What if you were to re-read the words and substitute change the culture for quitting drinking? I think this gets at the toughest problem in the United States today. It’s the culture. But it’s also several things about the culture. 

Statistics I read this morning show that more people agree in the U.S. than disagree about most things. Go figure that. It sure isn’t presented that way. More and more, issues are presented as binaries. Either you’re a good guy or a bad guy through and through. Once again, we Americans consistently attempt to over-simply things.  

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a major fan of simplicity, but not at the expense of nuance. Ah, but nuance, an art in itself, takes time. It takes time to perceive accurately, to skip the lingo and the abbreviations and the shorthands which lump too many things together at once.  

Generally, we’re going too fast for nuance. We’re losing the ability to self-reflect. We’re constantly seeking external validation for internal conviction. There is a solution, but first, we have to—get to—give up the most important idea in Mr. Blow’s essay: anyone taking your personal choice as a critique of theirs. 

I quit drinking, to continue his metaphor, when I was 25. For a really good reason. At the time, I didn’t tell anyone why. The reason had nothing personal to do with anyone I knew then. It had to do with cross-generational ancestral alcoholism in my family and the fact that I had seen the movie, gotten the t-shirt, and preferred to use it as a rag rather than wear it. I simply didn’t wanna go that route. 

Why do we ever infer that our personal decisions mean anything about those of others? That’s ridiculous. Unless … you’re making decisions from the outside-in. Then you want agreement. You want to fit in. You want to be one of the popular kids. 

Decisions made, choices made through self-reflection, conscious deliberation, and yes, perhaps with the help of select advisors along the way, are choices made from the inside-out. Those kinds of choices need no agreement … because they come from the depths of you. 

It’s your life, Beloved, no one else’s. And, besides, they have their own, if they’re incarnate here, to do with it what they will.  

Same same for culture. I’d jump to help our culture move from its reductionist, juvenile, all-er-nuthin’, to quote Will Parker from Oklahoma!, place to a slower rhythm, to self-reflection, to a laissez-faire stance with one another. The older I get, the more convinced I am that one of the most vital principles of spirituality is MYOB. Seriously. 

How about this? Why not try MYOB for a week? Stop offering opinions. Affirm the choices of others for themselves. Give up insisting that the whole world agree with you. Release the idea that it’s your mandate to tell others how to live. Model a dynamic, contained sense of self. Then write me and let me know how it went. 

I am convinced that you’ll be happier, healthier, wealthier, wiser, and have more fun besides. 

P. S. If you want to read something utterly hilarious and arresting about Dry January, go here. 

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Here’s a universal affirmation. It works every time, for everyone, always and forever …

This is the first historically-recorded, deliberate affirmation.
It was penned in the early 20th century by French psychologist Émile Coué. 

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And in publishing news …  

I know I promised you an explanation of the final image from the last issue of the Gazette. Here it is again … 

I am quite pleased to announce that I am starting a new blog called … 

Of course, there is a longer story behind it, but for now, let me just say that I’m excited about it, and I’m stuck until I get the help of someone who knows how to make WordPress work. I’m talking to a couple of people this week, but … if you’re a WordPress Wizard who’d like to help me, I need it. Email me please! 

I’ve thought for years, since I started working with clients more than 40 years ago, that writing a spiritually-based Q&A column would be fun, so at long last, here it is. BLTN. Better late than never.  

The subtitle is—the nexus of spirituality, energy, and creativity. 

Give a think about what I asked you in the last issue.  

What if these wings were yours? 

Who would you be? What would you do? How would things be different? How would you be different? What sort of superpower is yours? There’s a lot to say about superpowers, and I’ll say it, I promise, once I get some techno-help. 

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And now, for a new thing … a writing round-up …

The Mex In-Betweens are up on Amazon as ebooks and paperbacks. If you’re a Mex fan, you’ll enjoy the backstories. If you’re not yet, these thirteen short stories are a way to ease into all ten supernatural musical mysteries.

I’ve written to FreeBooksy, the promotional site I get such good results from, to find out about an LGBTQ series promo, which they don’t have listed on their offerings. Fingers crossed please? Maybe I won’t need that one last review.

Jaq is champing at the bit for me to get started on the final book in this speculative fiction series. I am merely awaiting the writing angels’ Go. Gemma Eclipsing remains on 3 Amazon bestseller lists, since last April! There’s a request for a Jezebel review below.

I received the first edits from Tony, and am determined to get the new blog up and running ere I dive deep into them. As you know, this edit is more about world-building than anything else. The characters are there. The story is there. I just need to figure out how to put them together.

I am deep in the process of creating tiny courses on various chakra subjects. The first four ought to be Body, Heart, Mind, Spirit teachings. Each is a dive into one aspect of learning how to have Exponential Energy—something we all need right now.

Impending Decision, the fifth book of The Boots & Boas Romances, is a-burble on the hob. I found the perfect book on Mardi Gras to give me all the deets I need. Jaq Direct is after me as well because of the spate of news on that moral hysteric, smut-smasher Anthony Comstock.  

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 My review request this issue is … first, a great big thank you to those who left a review! And, if you love speculative fiction, would you please read Jezebel Rising—the permafree book that starts my Subversive Lovelies? If you love it, would you leave a stellar review? I need THREE MORE reviews of four stars and above to do one of my special series promotions … please.  

Here's the blurb … 

Jezebel Rising—someone always goes first  

Four sisters. Four buildings. Four visions of what women can—and need—to be, do, and have. 

Jezebel is the youngest of the Bailey sisters. Yes, that Bailey of Barnum &— fame. Heiresses to multimillions of their father’s nouveau riche wealth, the four have been raised in direct antithesis to the fainting flowers of womanhood to be found in the notoriously fickle, corrupt Gilded Age Society in which they live.  

These women think for themselves, dream big, speak up, and take no prisoners. Four towering yellow-brick buildings on Chelsea’s 23rd Street across from turn-of-the-century Manhattan’s Millionaire’s Row inspire Jezebel to propose that the four go eyes-wide-open into the business of vice to mask their real purposes, their true callings, their nefarious agendas, their mystical imaginings—to answer and fulfill the four real greatest needs of women in their generation.  

Their journey takes them deep into The Tenderloin, that vice-iest of downtown neighborhoods. There they navigate the machinations of Tammany Hall, the dreaded slums of Five Points, the gangsters of the Lower West Side, the relentless tide of ongoing, daily despair in their charges, and a greater emergency than they’ve ever faced in their lives as they pull together to dream, create, inspire, and train their team to profit from who they’re really meant to be. 

Will Jezebel’s faith in herself, her sisters, and their visions be justified or will all four and their team be vanquished by the social forces ranged against them because of who they are? 

Reviews really are the engine that powers the career of an indie author. 

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Did you have a chance to visit Tony’s substack? Tony Amato, as you know my favorite editor, has a new substack. He’s writing about writing and he’s sharing some of his own fiction. Subscribe here. 

Tony Amato is my favorite editor for lots of reasons. Tony has a magical combination of talents that serves authors and their books in a way unlike any other editor I know, or know of. In all seriousness, as Leah from Upending Tradition, Book Four of The Boots & Boas Romances would say, I know a guy.  

May I encourage you to reach out if you need book-husbanding? Now more than ever the whole world needs your creative input. Really, you name it in BookWorld, he’s done it. Like I said, if you need anything in your writing life, Tony Amato is the person. Find him here.  

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“How to Be Your Own Genie: Manifesting the Magical Life You Were Born to Live” by Radleigh Valentine 

From the book description: After years of suppressing and denying his true self, Radleigh Valentine had a revelation: “The sparklier I am, the more me that I am, the happier and more magical my life becomes.” Thus started a spiritual journey that led Radleigh to becoming the internationally renowned speaker, best-selling author, and spiritual intuitive that he is today.

Now Radleigh distills all he’s learned over the decades through messages from the universe, angels, and his own experiences to show you how to manifest and live a magical life. Radleigh discusses the components of a magical life and offers practical advice and exercises to support you [where you need it most!]

Join Radleigh on a magical journey to discover and claim the magical life you were born to live!” 

A lovely client introduced me to this book, and it made me smile the whole time I was reading it. First, it’s a basic metaphysics book. People ask all the time about advanced metaphysics reading. There’s no advanced metaphysics. There’s only basic. The advanced part is learning to apply it in every situation. In fact, that’s what advances you. 

If you’re in need of a whimsical romp through metaphysics 101, give yourself a grin, and read this. 

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Are you waiting for a sign?
How about this one? 

I know that the rainbow bridge has
become connected with the deaths of our
beloved animal companions,
but what if they have a message for us?

What if this is the path that we need? 

What if … the world chaos that feels pending
is exactly what we need to get to
Cosmos—another word for Order?
What would you that mean to you? 

I am, without doubt, certain that And is the secret to all we desire.
Let’s commit to practicing And ever more diligently, shall we?

Until next time,
Be Ampersand.  

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