Ampersand Gazette #76

Welcome to the Ampersand Gazette, a metaphysical take on some of the news of the day. If you know others like us, who want to create a world that includes and works for everyone, please feel free to share this newsletter. The sign-up is here. And now, on with the latest … 

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They Hate Each Other. They Love Each Other. We Can’t Look Away.

When Glinda and Elphaba, Arianna Grande and Cynthia Erivo, the leads of the new movie adaptation of “Wicked,” clap eyes on each other, it’s loathe at first sight. “Wicked,” is a frenemy story nonpareil, offering the promise of a platonic love that will leave you better than you’ve been, changed inside and out for good.

Frenemy stories do something more complicated than the standard rom-com. By their emotional logic, it’s not the ending that matters; it’s the journey. The stories are powered by the shifting dynamics between love and hate, gratitude and resentment, and admiration and contempt, and that’s what makes them so resonant.

“Wicked” the movie—based on “Wicked” the musical, adapted from “Wicked” the Gregory Maguire novel, a retelling of L. Frank Baum’s “The Wonderful Wizard of Oz”—wants to be many things. It’s a timely examination of the uses of propaganda and a strongman’s rise. It is Super Bowl Sunday for theater kids, and it’s a balm for despondent Democrats, who will relish a tale of two women (one played by a Black actress, the other played by a white one) working to take down a deceitful and unworthy ruler.

But it’s the frenemy fantasy—enemies who become friends, who unite to fix a broken world—that makes “Wicked” work.

Elphaba has what Glinda does not: the courage to be herself.

Love in a rom-com can feel inevitable. Respect can be harder to come by, especially from someone initially immune to your charms. That kind of reassessment from that kind of friend isn’t just affirming; it’s life-changing. And for audiences, seeing a character we’re emotionally invested in as she blossoms into her fullest self makes it possible to believe that we, too, are capable of transformation.  

Excerpted from a Guest Essay by Jennifer Weiner in The New York Times
“They Hate Each Other. They Love Each Other. We Can’t Look Away.”
November 23, 2024 

I haven’t seen the movie yet, but I probably will. When my friend Susan Sampliner called me in Santa Fe one fateful day in 2003, she invited me to come see the show she was working on. It was called Wicked. I’d already read Gregory Maguire’s delicious book, so I blithely bought a pair of house seats for my next trip to the City. 

Susan was right. I loved it. Loved, loved, loved, loved it. Even the parts of the plot that didn’t float my boat. For that matter, I loved it enough to choose it as the basis for the seventh book of The Mex Mysteries; it’s called Something Wicked. If you’ve read any of my mysteries, you know that each one takes place around a musical or an opera, and that the solve of the mystery is in the lyrics of the show.  

My point is that I know Wicked intimately. So to read Jennifer Weiner’s Guest Essay made me feel good about the show all over again. I am one of those theatre kids who considers the (2!) movie (s) Super Bowl Sunday. 

The word frenemy is what nabbed me in this essay. Did you know that the first usage of the word was in 1891 in Champion, Kansas? I think there’s some serious wisdom to be found in its three syllables, almost in the same way I discern healing in the lyrics of showtunes. Stranger things … 

It’s no secret that politically I’m as liberal, for the most part, as the day is long. It’s also no secret that there are plenty of people in our country who disagree with me. Shocking, I know. 

But for all of those who agree with me, and for all of those who disagree with me, I believe this past election has a big ol’ honking billboard-with-chaser-lights of a message, which we deny and/or ignore to our peril. 

As Ms. Weiner says it, “But it’s the frenemy fantasy—enemies who become friends, who unite to fix a broken world—that makes ‘Wicked’ work.” It’s also what will, ultimately, make a world that works for everyone. 

Fine, you disagree with me. Great! I’m so glad you’ve thought through and worked out your values. I believe in that, and I bet you do, too. Values are good. And whether our values mesh or collide, our very existence meshes. It does. We share the same planet, and that’s not going to change. 

That means making peace with our frenemies, Beloved. 

I’ll say it again. 

That means making peace with our frenemies. 

ALL OF THEM. 

So, frenemies. Befriending frenemies? Sure, if you can. Tolerating frenemies? Uh, okay, but not top of the class, you know, more a C+. I think we all ought to take a serious read of a page out of Elphaba’s and Glinda’s frenemy-ship. Which means …  

Step One: let’s learn to be grateful that we live in a country where we can all have the courage to be ourselves, our true selves, our real selves, our deepest, most honorable, most genuine, most magical selves. 

Step Two: Let’s learn that if we want that for ourselves, then we get to offer that to everyone else—whether we agree with them or not—because that’s how it works here. If I want X, and I determine that I don’t want you to have X, then … I can’t have X either. 

Step Three: And this is perhaps the greatest gift that frenemy-dom has for all of us, let’s learn to mind our own business. It’s not my business to tell you how to live your life. For mercy’s sake, it’s hard enough to figure out how I want to live my own! How you live your life, as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone, is your business and your business alone. 

Net-net, we all want the same things, Beloved. Perhaps how we want to get there is varied, okay, I’ll grant you that, but we all really do want the same things. It’s high time that we started and continued to make frenemies. Start today. 

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Against Panic: A Survival Kit 

So for me there will be more watchful stillness. More walks in the woods to watch the still heron standing one-legged in the shallows; to watch the still deer, waiting to see if I mean them harm; to watch the stillness of the red-eared sliders, resting on the sunny log, and the stillness of the wood duck, whose stillness is on the surface only; to linger in the stillness of the lake itself, a perfect mirror giving back the sky. 

There will be more books and more poetry and more time with friends and more afternoons sitting on a bench and watching the leaves fall. I will be fighting with all that I am, but I will also be reminding myself again and again not to wait for the world to give me a reason to sigh with relief. I will give myself respite. I will remember not to keep waiting for sweetness and rest to arrive on their own. 

“If it be not now, yet it will come: the readiness is all,” Shakespeare wrote in “Hamlet.” I’ll remember that, too. 

Excerpted from an Opinion Essay by Margaret Renkl in The New York Times
Against Panic: A Survival Kit”
November 11, 2024 

The New York Times usually has a Quote of the Day. Larry Boucher, a store owner in Peculiar, Missouri, where residents battled developers and some of their own local officials to keep a giant data center out of their community, was quoted on November 12 this year. He said:  

“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.” 

It made me laugh out loud. Perfect for the week after the election. This Gazette is going out a day shy of three weeks since the election. People I know are still reeling with shock, disappointment, rage, dismay, horror, to a one, they’re all wondering how to bounce back from their own reactivity. 

Nature writer Margaret Renkl, the New York Times Opinion writer from Nashville, no matter how dire her topic, returns again and again to restoration, renewal, resilience, and reparations. Her wise words on stillness were a balm to me. 

Stillness is defined as without movement or sound. Rarely in a natural setting is there no motion or no sound, but the motion and the sound of nature can offer our busy-brained, busy-bodied, busy-lives a form of stillness. And, certainly, the very being of nature, contrasted with the very being of civilization, is the ultra in stillness. 

Come away from the busy-ness, Beloved. Come into stillness. Even it if isn’t perfect or absolute stillness, it will be less frenzied than the tempo of your everyday goings-on. When you are in the midst of one of those over-scheduled, hyper-active, go-go-go times, a prayer exercise I learned many years ago is a magical helping of stillness. Psalm 46:10 of the Hebrew hymnal we know as The Psalms reads: Be still, and know that I am God. 

A seminarian I knew suggested that we say the whole line, and then, say it again and again, dropping one word each time, like this: 

Be still, and know that I am God.
Be still, and know that I am.
Be still, and know that I.
Be still, and know that.
Be still, and know.
Be still, and.
Be still.
Be. 

These eight iterations will take you a little over a minute if you slow down as you say them. By the time you get to the last one, Be, you will recover some inner stillness, which is the great gift of Mother Nature’s world to us as well. Or can be. 

And when you can’t get to stillness, and I’ll admit, sometimes it’s impossible, there’s always the lovely adverb, still. 

Still, in its adverbial role, means nevertheless, as in, “Still, life goes on.” Let me tell you a wordsmith’s little secret about the word, nevertheless. It’s a double negative. Anyone who has managed fifth grade math knows that a double negative makes a positive, so nevertheless, in proper translation, means always the more. Still.  

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Here’s a universal affirmation. It works every time, for everyone, always and forever …  

What’s cool about this one is … it’s true, whether you believe it or not. 

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And in publishing news …  

I was very gratified to be invited to contribute to this podcast episode of The Skeptic Metaphysicians.  

 We invited some of our favorite past guests, including spiritual leaders and healers like Susan Gold, Dr Gayle Thomas and TARP, Faith Streng, Alysa Rushton, Leora Leon, Dr. Susan Corso, and more, to share their wisdom on managing these feelings.  

We discuss grounding techniques, validation of emotions, the role of trauma, and the importance of inner power. We also emphasize the significance of creating new societal structures, maintaining personal sovereignty, and fostering unity through compassion. Join us as we navigate these deep emotional times together, offering supportive insights and practical exercises for inner peace and collective healing. Remember, your feelings are valid, and we are all in this together. Insights from Spiritual Leaders: Dr. Susan Corso 23:42  

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Here’s the cover mock-up I sent to my cover designer, Vikki. The pin I wanted was elusive in this hunt. I wanted a comedy-tragedy mask because of Mex’s theatrical bona fides. Strangely, they were thin on the ground, or colorful ones were.

I found this piece of clip art of a court jester that looks like it’s 1960s-70s enamel. I copied and flipped it, and Vikki will turn the one on the right side into Tragedy with her Photoshop magic.  

The Mex In-Betweens have now officially been read aloud, ergo, edited. Tony and I had a lot of fun reading them. Mex is definitely a character, and because I haven’t been actively researching or writing a new one recently, I forgot how fun she is. I plan to publish these as a collection once I get the new pin as an ebook and a paperback. Meanwhile, the research for book eleven, Shrew This!, is ready for the writing deities whenever they give me the go. It’s a romp and a new take on Taming of the Shrew. 

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My review request this issue is … if you love queer romance, would you please read Attending Physician—the permafree book that starts my Boots & Boas Romances? If you love it, would you leave a stellar review? I need three more reviews of four stars and above to do one of my special series promotions … please.  

Here’s the blurb to give you a taste:

A chance collision. A burgeoning romance. A startling twist.

Psychologist Verity Spencer spends her days supporting her clients, so when a surrogate daughter goes into labor, she’s the stand-in mama in the room. On a momentary reprieve, so exhausted she can’t see straight, Verity crashes nose-first into the sternum of hot butch OB/GYN Dr. Raven Lange, on her own second 18-hour shift. Despite their fatigue, sparks fly.

Flowers. A date. A date cancelled. When they finally connect in person, it doesn’t take long for them to fall head over heels—and boots. Their relationship quickly moves in the right direction as Verity meets Raven’s toddler, but their bliss hits a roadblock when a client’s boyfriend does the unthinkable.

Will Raven’s Butch Brigade take matters into their own hands or will Verity be permanently scarred by trauma?

Reviews really are the engine that powers the career of an indie author. 

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Besieged is finished! I typed the last words on the 27th Anniversary of my mom’s death. That seemed significant to me because, when she was alive, she was the person responsible for creating the county AIDS program that was copied all over the United States, and for which she won an Unsung Hero Award from DIFFA.  

Book One is now called:  

And I know in my bones that she’d have loved this retelling of the AIDS crisis in which, for once, humanity does the right thing instead of what they did in fact. 

I’m up past my eyeballs in the Evil Words List, a list I’ve compiled over years and years of writing that is four columns of words I use as a kind of lazy placeholder when writing along. It takes quite some time to review and replace most of them, but it’s SO SO SO worth it. Most of the time, either the words can come out or I need a better verb. I’m working through the third column right now, and hope to be able to send it to my editor by Thanksgiving. That might be some serious wishful thinking … 

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Who knows what I’ll write next? 

I do! The leap to Impending Decision, the fifth book of The Boots & Boas Romances, from Jacqueline Retrograde is not so far—both feature debutante stories, except a century apart. So that’s one decided. Oddly—I wouldn’t have thought this—but Jaq Direct, the final book of The Subversive Lovelies, is also next because of the spate of recent articles on that American moral hysteric, smut-smasher Anthony Comstock.  

So the day has definitely come when I’ll be writing two books at one time. After I finish the Evil Words list for Besieged, then I’m ON IT. 

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Tony Amato has edited my books for twenty years, and counting. He’s a singularly outstanding (and much sought after) book coach and editor. I finally got smart enough to marry the man a few years ago for which I am eternally grateful, despite the fact that we had to wrestle the State of New York into compliance, which we did, and WON. 

Do you have need of someone to partner with to help you with your book ideas? In all seriousness, as Leah from Upending Tradition, Book Four of The Boots & Boas Romances would say, I know a guy.  

May I encourage you to reach out if you need book-husbanding? He’s worked on fiction, micro-fiction, memoir, science fiction, metaphysical fiction, young adult fiction, erotica, singles, series, audio scripts, and nonfiction in realms from business to the spiritual, and everything in between. Oooh, also in-betweens! Really, you name it, he’s done it. Like I said, if you need anything in your writing life, Tony Amato is the person. Find him here.  

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"Deeply researched and featuring a cast of characters who can truly be described as fabulous, Glitter and Concrete is urban history on fire." —Thomas Dyja, author of New York, New York, New York 

Glitter and Concrete: A Cultural History of Drag in New York City

“From journalist and drag historian Elyssa Maxx Goodman, an intimate, evocative history of drag in New York City exploring its dynamic role, from the Jazz Age to Drag Race, in queer liberation and urban life.
From the lush feather boas that adorned early female impersonators to the sequined lip syncs of barroom queens to the drag kings that have us laughing in stitches, drag has played a vital role in the creative life of New York City. But the evolution of drag in the city—as an art form, a community and a mode of liberation—has never before been fully chronicled.” 

This is an award-winning book, and I can see why. Ms. Goodman takes her true love affair with drag, and brings a journalist’s eye to its antecedents. Her prose is compelling, her subject even moreso. Well worth your reading time. 

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Are you waiting for a sign?
How about this one? 

I have always been fascinated by the 

Phoenix Bird, 

that legendary immortal creature
who rises from her own ashes
born anew again and again. 

I think that’s what we’re all called to do
after this election,
whether our choice won or lost, 

rise from the ashes of
our content or our discontent,
to create a new, better world
together. 

What part of you needs to be burned away
so that you may rise from your own
ashes, renewed, restored, rejuvenated,
and ready to help the world thrive? 

I am, without doubt, certain that And is the secret to all we desire.
Let’s commit to practicing And ever more diligently, shall we?
Until next time,
Be Ampersand.  

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