Ampersand Gazette #68
Welcome to the Ampersand Gazette, a metaphysical take on some of the news of the day. If you know others like us, who want to create a world that includes and works for everyone, please feel free to share this newsletter. The sign-up is here. And now, on with the latest …
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David Brooks on Our Real Choices
[T]hink tankers, activists and politicians have developed MAGA into a worldview. MAGA has replaced Reaganism as the chief operating system of the Republican Party. Well, in any society, there is a legitimate tension between security and dynamism. In a volatile world, MAGA offers people security.
Now, the problem with MAGA is that it emerges from a mode of consciousness that is very different from the traditional American consciousness.
American consciousness has traditionally been an abundance consciousness. In 1910, Henry van Dyke observed that “the Spirit of America is best known in Europe by one of its qualities — energy.” …
Many foreign observers saw us, and we saw ourselves, as the dynamic nation par excellence. We didn’t have a common past, but we dreamed of a common future.
MAGA, on the other hand, emerges from a scarcity consciousness. MAGA is based on a series of victim stories. MAGA is a fortress mentality, but America has traditionally been defined by a pioneering mentality. MAGA offers a strong shell, but not much in the way of wings needed to soar.
The economist Michael Strain of the American Enterprise Institute has offered a telling psychic critique of MAGA economic thinking: “The economics of grievance is ineffective, counterproductive and corrosive, eroding the foundations of prosperity. Messages matter. Tell people that the system is rigged, and they will aspire to less. Champion personal responsibility, and they will lift their aspirations. Promoting an optimistic vision of economic life can increase risk tolerance, ambition, effort and dynamism.”
The venture capitalist Marc Andreessen underlined the point a few years ago: “The problem is desire. We need to *want* these things. The problem is inertia. We need to want these things more than we want to prevent these things.”
excerpted from an Opinion Essay by David Brooks in The New York Times
“What Democrats Need to Do Now”
July 18. 2024
Let’s start today’s musing on Our Lady of Whimsy, Mary Engelbreit. One of the clearest declarations of her political stance is:
VOTE:
The Constitution isn’t going to uphold itself.
She has a point, and, if my ears are attuned to anything political right now, it’s to those who are saying they’re choosing not to vote. It’s utter anathema to me. Now admittedly, I was raised in a far different time and environment than the one in which we live now. Not to vote was considered a scandal.
In a recent essay by historian Heather Cox Richardson, she says, “It is up to us to decide whether we want a country based on fear or on facts, on reaction or on reality, on hatred or on hope.”
David Brooks draws similar polar options. Abundance consciousness or scarcity consciousness? Pioneering mentality or fortress mentality? Personal responsibility or grievance?
Let’s be clear, though, everyone, even those with an abundance consciousness, has scarcity moments—those are the times we believe more in our fear than in our faith. Everyone shifts between pioneering and fortress, too—those are dependent upon how safe we feel. Sometimes we want both at the same time! Same with personal responsibility and grievance—these deal with whether we want to step up and change or stay the same and moan.
The real issue is not our momentary lapses but where we land more often than not. In “The Christian Case Against Trump” evangelical theologian Eliza Griswold quotes an evangelical pastor wanting to influence people’s “voting habits.”
Not voting sometimes, but voting habits.
Do you vote? Why do you vote? What do you hope to achieve with your vote? How valuable do you consider your right to vote? Have you ever even really thought about voting this way? I hadn’t.
I vote because I was taught that it was the right thing to do. Period.
David Brooks actually has supplied the language for me that further explains why: I vote because, even though I don’t share a common past with everyone, or really anyone, in this country, I totally share a common future with, as they say, all y’all.
But if I share a common future with you, don’t you de facto share a common future with me?
Whether we agree or disagree, whether we speak of it together or we don’t, we all live here on Earth, Beloved, and for those of us who live in the energetic US of A, we all share our country as well as our planet.
So like venture capitalist Marc Andreessen, who practically cites the basic principle of metaphysics: What do you want, Beloved? Because he’s right; it all boils down to desire. What do you want? I ask clients that all the time usually after they’ve told me a litany of what’s wrong. It’s funny, too. When I’m sure that they’re all done with their list of woes, I ask: Okay, what’s right?
Most often, quite sadly, that’s a far shorter list. Same same. What do you want? A lot of us don’t know what we want because we’re so wrapped up in what we don’t want that there’s no time, space, or energy to figure out what we do want. Andreessen again, “We need to want these things [that we want] more than we want to prevent these things [that we don’t want.]” And thereon, hangs the law and the prophets. What you resist persists.
The thing about voting is, we all have a chance if we register, to vote for, to wit, to take a step toward, what we want. Another Our Lady of Whimsy illustration depicts the illustrious Glinda of Good Witch Oz Notoriety. It too starts with VOTE.
VOTE
You had the power all along, my dear.
Please, for your own sake, register, and vote on behalf of our common future if for no other earthly reason.
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A Magic Phrase to Defeat Nosy Questions
At some point, most of us have been dismayed by invasive questions. These questions are often a tactic for people to share their own points of view, said Scott Shigeoka, a fellow at the Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley.
When you’re genuinely curious about someone, Shigeoka explained, “the message is ‘I want to understand you.’” But when people ask questions with an agenda, they’re using something that he calls “predatory curiosity.” In that case, Shigeoka said, “they’re saying, I want to change you.”
I asked experts for advice on how to navigate these questions.
Remember that you don’t owe anyone an answer.
Tell yourself: “It’s understandable that question made me uncomfortable, and I am not obligated to answer it.”
Try this back-pocket rebuttal.
In a calm, neutral tone, simply say, “I’d rather not talk about it." Follow up with something like, “But I would like to share this funny story that happened recently.” That way you’re not rejecting the person, just the topic.
If you decide to answer, do it on your own terms.
“You can say, ‘That’s a really emotional issue for me, so if you’re interested, let’s make another time to have a talk about this.” That way, “they have to make the effort if they really want to address it, and if they’re coming from a good place.”
The questions may never stop, but you can control your reaction.
from a Well Column by Jancee Dunn in The New York Times
A Magic Phrase to Defeat Nosy Questions
July 20, 2024
In my latest book, Jacqueline Retrograde, the leading character does a whole riff on the question: “How are you?” She feels totally put on the spot when asked that standard social thing. At times, it’s true, it can feel quite invasive.
It’s not predatory curiosity, not yet, but it can feel that way. That’s why the standard “Fine” was created. I know someone who avoids answering it by replying, “How are you?”
Social in-the-moment boundaries can be really hard, especially if you don’t like to draw attention to your own ‘No thank yous,” but it is your definite right to decline to answer anyone anything. You also have a choice about your tone, which makes a huge difference.
“No, you little nosy this-and-such,” has a different flavor from a gentle smile, and a “Let’s pick another topic, shall we? I don’t want to go there right now.”
The important thing is to know yourself here. Know what you can and can’t, will and won’t, wanna and don’t wanna, and stick to it. If people get pushy, walk away.
Boundaries, beloved, all boundaries are an inside job. Mostly we discover them when someone trespasses over the line we’ve drawn. Take it as a learning experience. Skip the self-flagellation. Decide how you’ll deal with it next time. If you don’t know, get some help. For real.
If you were mean to the person who trespassed, apologize and let it go. If they hold onto it, that’s their business.
Just remember, boundaries are your friends, and you figure them out as you go. Years ago, I had a friend whose mother insisted that she take a ‘No, thank you bite’ of every new food she encountered. If you make a boundary faux pas, just consider it your No, thank you bite. Unlike voting, you never have to do it again.
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Here’s a universal affirmation. It works every time, for everyone, always and forever …
Dr. Susan Corso
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And in publishing news …
Once again, A BIG ASK … PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE
If you have bought Jezebel Rising, and liked it, I have a personal request to make. If you loved it, would you please take a few minutes of your valuable time to go HERE, and write Jezebel a review, not just a star rating? Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Here’s a recent one that’s amazing—
5.0 out of 5 stars Wow! Great introduction to feminism and the Divine
Reviewed in the United States on July 23, 2024
Started this book because of the author, but well before mid-book I found myself drawn to the Bailey girls (Jezebel, Jasmine, Gemma, and Jaq). These books, like all well-written historical fiction, have in turn led to exploration of many of the ideas & people that populate them. (Currently I know a lot about Clara Driscoll and her work with/for Louis Comfort Tiffany LOL) I have thoroughly enjoyed every book in this series and can't wait for Jaq's story.
If you want the paperbacks of The Subversive Lovelies, look carefully. There are Two Volumes for each title.
If you want the Kindle, there’s One File for each title.
The first two of the tetralogy, Jezebel Rising and Jasmine Increscent can be found at these live links for ebooks and paperbacks. And here’s Gemma Eclipsing …
which is still on THREE AMAZON BESTSELLER LISTS! And has been on four!! Metaphysical Fiction, LGBTQ+ Fiction, Women’s Historical Fiction, Historical Literary Fiction.
SO I’M KEEPING IT FREE FOR AS LONG AS IT REMAINS IN THE TOP 50!!
OKLAHOMA! HEX IS STILL ON THE METAPHYSICAL FICTION BESTSELLER LIST AND HAS BEEN SINCE APRIL 18TH!!!
As you know, I finished the first draft of Jacqueline Retrograde on July 5th, the look-back at the eldest Bailey sibling’s story. And I finished the Evil Words List this morning! Now I have to re-read it, and make sure in replacing words I didn’t make it sound weird—the latest word of the political hour. Then, it goes to my editor.
I’m hoping to have Jacqueline Retrograde out by my birthday mid-October.
I had a magical thing happen because of the rights to an image that I couldn’t use for the second volume of book four. I wrote to the designer who had posted the image I wanted, and straight-up asked for it! He couldn’t give me that one because of other contractual exclusivity agreements, but, he said, he’d be glad to make me a custom one for a very reasonable fee. I jumped at it!
There was a good book written once in which it says, Ask, and you shall receive. Just sayin’.
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So here’s a little bit of magic … my book cover designer, Vikki Davies, did all ten covers for the Mex paperback placeholders almost overnight! Amazing. And I, because I had already done the work to prepare each of them for printing merely uploaded everything to Barnes & Noble Press, and am in the process of ordering personal copies right now.
If you, too, want paperbacks of Mex, please say a prayer that I find or am found by the perfect attorney who gets the rights for all of them easily and, ideally, for reasonable prices! Amen.
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Do you have need of someone to partner with to make sure you get with and stick with your book ideas? In all seriousness, I know a guy. He’s edited my books for twenty years, and counting.
Lately, we’ve been in ongoing conversation about the top secret series, and his ideas are AMAZING. He’s totally supported me in this entirely new-to-me writing process that if I didn’t have his help, I know would have freaked me out completely. Tony Amato is a singularly outstanding book coach and editor.
May I encourage you to reach out if you need book-husbanding, which includes coaching along the way? Like I said, if you need anything in your writing life, Tony Amato is the person. Without him, my books—both fiction and nonfiction—would be nowhere near as good as they are. Find him here.
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Do you ever re-read books you’ve already read? I rarely do—mostly because there are so many new ones on my shelves and in the stores that I want to read. Who needs to read them again?
Except, as you know, I’ve been reading about Shame, and Pride, and so the stellar work of Brené Brown has been calling my name. I bought and read The Gifts of Imperfection when it first came out in 2013. The highlights I made in the book then were in Pink. (Of course.)
So when I happened upon it again, and decided to reread it, I chose a second color for these highlights. There are so many more when I read for a particular project!
Anyway, it’s a remarkable book about radical self-acceptance, and how without it, we cannot live wholehearted lives. It’s a Take Back the Night process … not like the original, but a Take Back the Dark Night of Your Soul process. It’s a guidebook to visiting all those inner vulnerable places—that, mind you, we all have, but few admit—and walking through them to the other side.
I recommend it to you without reservation. Oh, and P. S. If you’re a person in recovery of any kind, it’ll be right up your alley.
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Are you waiting for a sign?
How about this one?
This is one of my favorite images.*
It’s so easy lately to feel like one of our own puny actions
can’t really make a difference in the world,
but this image reminds me,
and now you,
that they do.
I think of each action each one of us takes
toward a better world
having the effect that this one drop of water does.
It’s true,
and when you forget from now on,
now you’ll have this image to remind you.
I am, without doubt, certain that And is the secret to all we desire.
Let’s commit to practicing And ever more diligently, shall we?
Until next time,
Be Ampersand.
S.
* I used it in a spiritual book I wrote called Circles of Peace. Find it here.