B’shert, Or, Meant To Be
Today is my ex-husband’s birthday which is not particularly significant except that he’s my best friend and has been basically since we were married. When I tell people this, especially those who have been through painful divorce proceedings, they marvel at it.
It’s really not a marvel. We, like so many of us, recognized each other the moment we met. It was b’shert, as the rabbis would say, meant to be. Our feelings were intense and larger than life. We assumed that meant we should get married so we did.
Long complicated story made much shorter: we’re both gay. Not a good prescription or long-term strategy for straight marriage. We divorced: lovingly, as gently as we could, as kindly as we had it in us to be at the time.
Was there hurt? Sure.
Were we angry sometimes? Yep.
Was there a temptation to blame? You bet.
But we didn’t stay there, and the reason we didn’t is because the intense caring, and the magical recognition never went away. To this day, I can feel what’s going on with Antony before he tells me. In his defense, the reverse is also true.
We’re connected.
Cosmically, karmically, emotionally, mentally, aesthetically, spiritually connected, and that’s never changed. That’s how I ended up best friends with my ex-husband and I hope it only gets richer as we get older.
o, my beloved best friend, many happy returns of the day …
and many, many, many more!
