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How Nice to Know …

anything for sure! Again, from Queen Mama Donna’s remarkable Queen of My Self blog on Beliefnet.


What I Know For Sure – Part 1

posted by Donna Henes | 10:00am Thursday September 8, 2011


I see “Begin Again” as an ideal theme for the next while. We have the supreme opportunity now in the autumn of our midlife to begin again. How shall we reinvent our Selves? What new programs, projects and passions are on the horizon for us? Please send me your stories of change, transition, and transformation. Our shared experiences serve to inspire and empower us all.


xxQueen Mama Donna


What I Know For Sure – Part 1

By Dani Sutliff, Wi

The young girl that danced barefoot in Golden Gate Park singing about “The Age of Aquarius” is now the mature woman who has lived long enough to actually be a part of it’s dawning.

I have lived out more than half my life and the realization that I have more years behind me than I have ahead of me is a constant prompt to live each day fully.

I am a little dinged and dented in some places, a little worse for wear in others. It’s my grandmother’s cleavage that is now reflected back to me in the mirror, the firmness of my once young body has softened and in some places fallen, and my face is lined with reminders of all the times I stood, squinting into the sun despite all the warnings not to.

People no longer express amazement at how old my children are or that I am soon to be a grandmother because I look “old enough” to have children my age and be a grandmother.

Yes, I have crossed that line of demarcation – living in the societal limbo of being somewhat invisible – not young enough to be the center of attention or old enough to be listened to – too old and yet too young to have doors opened and held for me.

I have the losses that come from 54 years of living out loud and loving with passion. I have my regrets, my wasted moments and lost opportunities. I have the things I wished I had said and didn’t, the things I have said and wished I hadn’t, and the things I did that I wish could be given back to me for a ‘do-over.’

But, so much more importantly than that, I’ve had what can only be described as those times I hit the home run ball so far out of the ballpark, it landed in the next county. The times filled with such incredible joy, abundance, unconditional love, and profound grace that it took my breath away.

It is the marination and culmination of both that now make up my life. Free from the confusion, compulsion and complications of changing roles and hormones, I now stand ready to reclaim me and speak my truth – regardless of whether anyone outside my self cares to listen. It is no longer important whether the world outside myself or anyone in it thinks I have anything of value to share. I know (inwardly) that I do and that’s what matters most.

Every year during DaniMonth I make a handwritten list of what I have learned about life. My truths as they are. It’s one of the rituals that not only marks but also honors another rotation around the sun.

So at the dawn of year 54, here is what I know for sure:

Tomorrow: What I Know For Sure – Part 2

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What I Know For Sure – Part 2

What I Know For Sure – Part 2

By Dani Sutliff, Wi

So at the dawn of year 54, here is what I know for sure:

I know that my greatest contribution to the world was never what I did in the doing, but rather who I was in the being; in who I was (am) in relationship to God, myself and with others.

I know now that there were no ultimate solutions outside my self and that I was always the source for the acceptance, approval and connection I sought in other people, places and circumstances.

I know now that no-one but me expected me to have all the answers, be perfect and do it ‘right’ all by myself all the time, and that holding myself to those unreasonable standards was abusive, immoral and unfair.

I know now that there was always someone there to guide me, inspire me, encourage me and love me on my journey – but I was moving too fast through life to sit still long enough to listen. That my need to prove myself perfectly competent kept me from being humble enough to ask for help and open enough to receive it when it was offered.

I know now that life didn’t have to be lived with such busyness, urgency, intensity and always in terms of tomorrow. I know now how important it is to leave room to exhale and let go, and accept that despite my best attempts to confine it, control it, schedule it and/or manage it, life still happened on life’s terms.

I now know that ‘not having time’ for myself was a self-created, isolating and limiting illusion and that not making or taking time for myself was cruel and dishonoring to and of myself.

I know now how important it is to leave room for spontaneity and to allow life to sometimes go unscripted.

I know now that anger, resentment, grudges and anything else that stands in the way of love and forgiveness is meaningless in the broad scope of what’s truly important. I know now that true grace is in the quiet and silent moments of just being, and true joy is in the simplicity of taking a breath and being fully present in the moment with those I love and those who love me.

I know now the importance of “live and let live.” The importance of living my own life and letting others live theirs – of minding and attending to my own business and keeping my fingers out of theirs. I know that my commitment to another’s happiness or healing cannot be greater than their own commitment to inner happiness and healing.

I know now that caring for others and their needs doesn’t mean I sacrifice myself and my needs. That being compassionate isn’t akin to being a martyr, and that a modicum of selfish can be healthy.

I know now that misery does love company and birds of a feather flock together and it doesn’t have to be more complicated or pathological than that.

I know now that the quality of one’s life is not built on blind luck but rather on conscious choices. And that in each and every situation and circumstance that appears, there is choice about how we interpret, perceive and respond to life around us.

And mostly I know now that enjoying life should be of much greater concern than understanding it, defining it, confining it or controlling it.

That’s my story for DaniMonth. And yes, I’m sticking to it.

Read more:


For spiritual nourishment, visit Dr. Susan Corso’s website and blog, Seeds for Sanctuary. Follow her on Twitter @PeaceCorso and Friend her on Facebook. And discover your own Inner Peace at, To Me Peace Is … What is Peace to You?

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